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Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physcian, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist.

After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!!

The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him and said. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"

Patty is visiting Her father Ralph at the nursing home.

`I`ve been sleeping really well these past few weeks,` Ralph says.

`Why?` Patty asks. `Have the nurses been giving you something to help you sleep?

`Yes,` Ralph says. `Every night I`m given an glass of warm milk and viagra.`

`Why are they giving you viagra?` she asks.

`I don`t know,` Ralph says.

Patty finds a nurse down the hall and asks to know more about their sleeping aids.

`The warm milk helps him sleep,` the nurse says.

`But why the viagra?` Patty asks.

`Oh,` the nurse says. `That just keeps him from rolling out of bed.

1.Judy Smith, my assistant, can always be found

hard at work in her station. Judy works independently, without

3.wasting hospital time talking to colleagues. Judy never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and she always

5.finishes given assignments on time. Often, Judy takes extended

measures to complete her work, sometimes skipping coffee

7.breaks. Judy is an individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of her high accomplishments and profound

9.knowledge in her field. I firmly believe that Judy can be

classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be

11.dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Judy be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

13.executed as soon as possible.

Regards - Charge Nurse

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo from the Charge Nurse:

Sorry, but that idiot (Judy) was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines for my true assessment of her...

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:

Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and others.

The graveside was pile high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even still, as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was hoped that he'd rise once again, but that hope was burned to a crisp when he fell flat and just could not rise again. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.