Iowa You make me SMILE
The Dope is coming
This will help the Nation.
Free BEERA new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there.Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body."Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"Taxes Taxes TaxesOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So off he went with this enormous woman, pretending to be happy.As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman than he was with. When he approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and Carlos replied, "I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money...even more then you did." They both shook their heads in understanding and figured that as long as they have to be with these women, they might as well hang out together to help pass the time. Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking along, minding their own business when Tony and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel / centerfold. Stunned, Tony and Carlos approached the man and in fact it was their friend Jon. They asked him how is he with this unbelievable goddess, while they were stuck with these god-awful women. Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I'm definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the besttime of my life (and I'm dead,) and I have five years of the best sex any man could hope for to lookforward to. There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand. After everytime we have sex, sherolls over and murmur's to herself, "Damn income taxes!"I always like it on the bottom.That's why I'm HAPPY!
Men are EasyKeep reading gets better.
I would be PISSEDNow I can't even get to work.
I Love you Man"Can We All Get Along?"
The Price to Upgrade WindowsThere must be some great Easter egg hidden.
Lets Revamp the EMAIL systemWe need to do this Now. I was ISP support and got so many calls about email. People expected it to be as good as snail mail. We had to tell them this is an extra service. If you get spammed we can't help but if you spam we cut you off. There has to be some token that we include that gets passed to the mail server to say GOOD email.
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