dsmCity.com

Emma Watson

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher:"Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself , "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher:"That's right Susie, you can go home."

Teacher:"Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher:"That's right Mary, you can go."

Teacher:"Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says,"John F. Kennedy."

Teacher:"That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

And Give me a Hand or the Coast Guard.

BUT LETS MAKE IT CLEAR

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.

One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all fours, and you mount her from behind, and you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands, and then you whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just a little smaller than your sister's" and then you try to hold on for eight seconds.

They both go before the angel to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in.

The angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day for eternity."

The angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen took a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shook it up, and gargled. Then, she spit into the toilette and pulled the lever.

The angel said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of Gods own perfect creations and you turn me down. She simply gargled and she got in. Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," said the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal flush beats a pair, no matter how big they are.

I got my 15 minutes of Shame.

But I see white all over it!

To bad he can't get out to notice.

Floor It Bubba.